Marillion Chapter 1

And in the beginning was the word (1) And the word, having got bored at being the only word in existance decideth to expand.
The word was then caught by the being now known as Uther (2) The great Uther rolled the word into a solitary being, known to the world as Frig. Then Uther dideth lay with Frig (3)
And from this joyous union came forth thy children of Uther; these where known as Arthur of the Tusks (later known as the Walrus) Malcolm of the Ant, Arnold of the Earwig and Samuel of the Sloth.
And lo! there was paradise.
Then happeneth the fateful day (4) When Malcolm of the Ant was sent out into the greater void for not eating his Vacuum. And there in the greater void Malcolm cameth upon a strange object; he took this object and coverted it. And he cherished it and loved it and named it thusly: "Knife"
When Malcolm returneth from the greater void he recieveth a great bollocking for his immaculate time keeping (5)
And then Malcolm's new friend spaketh to him and sayeth "Why should you take notice of this being - just 'cos he created thee; taketh me and remove certain parts of him"
And Malcolm (not being the brightest being) tooketh his knife and cut off certain parts of Uther. Wherepon Arthur came upon the scene and lookethed. "We're in deep shit now lad" He spoketh to Malcolm.
And Arthur took the removed parts of Uther and cast them into the void where they stayed and became the 'Earth' and the 'Moon'. As they travelled they released their contents which formed the stars.
And for a period did the ex-parts of Uther orbit each other. Until one day Samuel of Sloth looked upon this new Earth and perceive it to be boring and thus did he call together his brethen and they expanded upon a new way.
And so Arthur created a lush garden on the ex-parts if Uther, and he calleth this garden 'Cannabis' for it was so rich (6)
And on the next day Arnie did create a flock of animals to populate the garden of Cannabis, at first he created them in the images of his brethen, and then after an extensive session on LSD did he created others.
And on the next day Samuel did cause several of Arnie's animals to grow wings and take to flight, and called these 'birds'.
And on the next day Arthur (not to be outdone) caused several of Arnie's animals to grow scales, and fins and take to his newly created oceans, and called these 'fish'.
And on the following day Arnie shrunk several of his animals and made them grow legs. These became insects.
Samuel, after a particulary long drinking spree did taketh one of Arnie's 'apes' and caused it to become deformed, and called it 'wo-man'
Then the brethen looked upon their Earth and percieved it to be good, and then they retired to the place now called 'Amsterdam'
But Malcolm had not had a chance to create anything, so he hatched an evil plot: He would take one of Arnies's 'Apes' and would deform it much as Samuel did, to become an evil destroyer of everything else. This he did and called it 'man'

1. Experts still disagree upon what the word was though they seem to agree that it was either "Sex" or "Marijuana" As the concepts behind both these words had not yet been invented nobody is certain of how they came to be.
2. Where Uther came from is similary unknown; it is suggested that he just appeared. But many experts just term this as "Bollocks"
3. ie Shagged
4. Though of course can we sure that it was day as the concept of time had not yet been created...
5. Many Malcolmists proclaim Malcolm innocence at this point - as time had not been created therefore he could not have been in trouble - many believe that he did what he did out of sheer bloody mindedness...
6. Though many experts say that it was called this due to a certain habbit of Arthur's